If young Billy has trouble spelling carpentry or corner or crusader, don’t be too hard on the poor lad — he’s not alone. And don’t blame the school system. Blame Councillor Alex Munter. Or developer Bill Teron. Or even the Iroquois.

As a Kanata resident living in the Katimavik neighbourhood that includes Kakulu Drive, you would think I would be used to it by now. But no. Every week, my hand reaches into the mailbox to retrieve my community newspaper. I unfold it and there they are: the dreaded Ks.

This is where Bill Teron comes in. If the developer hadn’t named his new city Kanata, the Iroquois word for “community” or “meeting place,” residents of the newly incorporated municipality would not have felt compelled to join the K name game.

Enter Alex Munter. It was in 1982, at the ripe age of 14, that the future city councillor founded the community’s newspaper, christening it Kanata Kourier.

With a new owner, it later became the Kourier-Standard, but the misspelling of courier, kute as it was coming from a 14-year-old, was allowed to survive.

It wasn’t long before sports teams started calling themselves the Kanata Kougars, the Kobras and the Krusaders. (Kudos to the Kanata Kings and the Knights for finding proper K names.)

True, the K curse didn’t start with the founding of Kanata. A quick look at the phone book will tell you there are misspelled K names all across Ottawa. And the best ones aren’t even in Kanata.

Need construction work? There’s Karson Kartage and Konstruction in Carp. The Karson family probably wanted to distinguish themselves from another K in Carp, Ketch Construction. And don’t forget Kustom Pre-Cast Koncrete Ltd. or Kerr Karpentry Ltd. (Honest, I am not making these up.)

Can you blame Billy for his spelling problems when he comes face-to-face with signs for Kiddy Kars, Kiddie Kobbler and Kids Kare? Does our young lad enjoy kart racing? Karter’s Korner in Stittsville is apparently the place to be.

Looking for a computer? There’s Komputer Korner or the competing Ks, Kus-Tum Komputers. Sounds like a kase of K envy.

A consultant? Try Kischi Konsulting Ltd., not to be confused with Knoman Consulting, sans special Ks.

Then there’s Kwik Kopy Printing; Kutters Knives & Accessories; Kool Kards Heaven; and Klassic Kuts & Body Bronze Hair & Tanning Studio.

Even radio station CKKL has jumped on the K bandwagon with its Kool FM. Why the K? I’m listening to the radio, not looking at it.

My favourite K listing in the phone book is Klein Kris K, barrister.

If you’re born under the letter K, there’s nothing you can do about it. But what’s the excuse for Kanata Kourier?

“Other than the attempt at alliteration and the way the masthead was designed, my reason for going with ‘Kourier’ rather than ‘Courier’ was the importance of the letter K to Kanata,” Mr. Munter said when asked to explain his long-ago choice.

The letter K was so important to the community, he says, that the city’s symbol was a large, stylized K that looked like a maple leaf.

“In fact, some kommunity activists felt so strongly about the letter K that they kontemplated komplaining when a Wal-Mart, rather than Kmart, opened up in Kanata,” he wrote in an e-mail.

Still kute. But while Mr. Munter is all grown up now, it seems you can’t take the K out of the boy. The councillor recently put the brakes on attempts by Ottawa Council to rename a section of Castlefrank Road in Kanata to Marchwood Avenue. His preference? Kanata Avenue.

“Kanata Avenue, Kanata Road, whatever it is, when the Castlefrank Road overpass is complete, it will be a very important north-south link to bring our community together,” he was quoted as saying in the Kanata Kourier-Standard. “Because it will be a partial Highway 417 exit, it will have significant signage, keeping us on the map and up in lights.”

Kanata up in lights, I can live with. But Kourier? It makes me want to go out and buy a new car so I can get out of town fast. Now where's that Ottawa Otto Trader when you need it?

Published in The Ottawa Citizen on Jan. 11, 2002
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